Earlier today, the kids and I were having lunch outside in the sun at Whole Foods in Vancouver. We’d had a busy day and I was tired, but no more than usual. I noticed an older woman watching us but thought nothing of it.
As we were getting ready to leave, the woman came up to me and asked, in heavily accented English, if I was the kids’ mother.
Me: “Yes?” (Obviously she’s going to tell me how delightful they are, right?)
Her: “Oh! But you are so old! I thought you were their grandmother.”
Me: “…” (Um, what the hell do you say to that?!”)
Her: “And why they are so close in age? One year each? Why you are in such a hurry?(Jesus, lady. You just said I was their granny and now I have kids too quickly? Make up your damn mind.)
Me: “They are 2 years apart.” (As if it’s any of your business and why am I compelled to continue this conversation?)
Her: “It is clear you don’t eat well and don’t drink enough water, you have so many wrinkles.”
She then patted me on the shoulder and mumbled “Sorry” as I stood there, completely dumbfounded.
Who says that?!
The kids were looking at me intently and asked “why did that lady say those weird things, Mum?”
I replied that I didn’t know, that I didn’t think it was very nice and that she had hurt my feelings.
Rory looked at me and said “Mum, I think she needs to go to the eye doctor.”
And just like that, he saved the day.