Kids, QOTD

QOTD… a teeny compilation

Anja’s been coming up with some gems lately…

Playing play-doh in the kitchen:

A: “Mama, pass me the spanker wanker.”

Me, staring blankly at her: “Pardon?”

A: “The thing you use to flip pancakes.”

Obviously.

Driving home from skiing, she yells from the back seat:

“I CAN’T FEEL MY HEART BUMPING!”

Me, giggling by trying to remain calm: “I’m pretty sure your heart is still bumping. You are talking to me, after all.”

A: “Oh, yeah. You’re right. I found it.”

A: “What are you supposed to wear for tennis racket walking?”

Will: “Did you mean snowshoeing?

A: “Yeah, whatever. What do you wear?”

I’m upstairs, and yell through the floor, asking the 3 of them if they had done this chore or that.

W: “yes!”

R: “yeah!”

A: “Yes!”

I then hear her ask her brothers: “What did she even say?”

Quick learner.

And finally, Rory was talking about summer camp and how he is excited but it’s in a long time from now.

“It’s ok Rory. Time flies, you know. Time flies.”

Wise beyond her years?

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Kids, QOTD

QOTD

The birthday girl’s latest obsession is science (this is an obsession I can totally get behind).

“Do you know how scientists become scientists?”

“No, how?”

“Messes. They make lots of messes.”

I’d say she’s well on her way.IMG_8679

Kids, QOTD

Answering that existential question

We’re in the car, and the kids are telling each other jokes.

Rory asks, “Will, which came first? The chicken or the egg?”

I can’t help but chime in.

“Rory, that’s almost a serious question – really. Which one do you think came first?”

Rory, completely serious, replies, “I know the answer to that one. It’s easy. The chicken.”

I fire back: “But if chickens come from eggs, and eggs come from chickens, how do you explain that?”

“It’s easy. The chicken’s adopted.”

I cannot wait until Rory becomes a philosophy teacher in University.

Kids, QOTD

QOTD

I have a postcard with this photo on it in my bedroom.

Anonymous_photograph_of_Duke_Paoa_Kahanamoku_with_his_surfboard

“Mum, why is that boy wearing a bikini,” Rory asked me as he stared at it.

“That’s not a bikini. That’s just what the men wore in the ‘olden days,” I replied.

“Were the olden days fun?”

“I don’t know buddy, I wasn’t alive then, ” (Rory seems to have forgotten that I’m not 4000 years old.)

“Oh. Well, I don’t think they were fun. I bet they didn’t even have toys.”

“Maybe not, but I bet they got to play outside a whole lot.”

“Well, I heard they were naked and had to play with dirt. I don’t think that’s fun.”

This from a kid who is usually half-naked, covered in dirt and whittling a stick into some kind of spear.

"Seriously, mum?"
“Seriously, mum?”
QOTD

QOTD

There’s a certain constant in my life, that being the loss of a big toe nail every 6-8 months or so.  Be it due to running, skiing or someone smashing it with something, it happens without fail.

True enough, a few days ago I said goodbye to another one and Anja asked what was wrong with my foot.

Me: “My toenail fell off.”

Anja: “Guess that’s what happens when you’re old.”

It’s a damn good thing I love her.

IMG_7314

QOTD

QOTD

I’m having a pretend argument with Jay.

I don’t remember what we were pretend-arguing about, but I barked:

“Bull!”

Will, walking by, says:

“Shit!”

I stare at him with wide, what-did-you-just-say eyes.

“I’m just finishing your word for you, Mum.”

How kind.

IMG_6686
Wordsmith.

 

QOTD

QOTD

It’s 7am, we’re in the kitchen having breakfast.  Rory looks at me.

“Mama, where are you going today dressed all fancy?”

I was wearing these flannel pj’s.

1A

Liz may be right. Perhaps I do spend too much time in spandex.

 

Kids, QOTD

QOTD

Anja was helping bring stuff upstairs, she loaded her pile into a box to make it easier on herself.

Me: “Good job, you’re smart.”

Anja: “Uh huh, I know Mama.  It’s just the way I am.”

I wish she had a little more confidence.

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Family, Kids, QOTD

QOTD: Rory saves the day

me and rory

Earlier today, the kids and I were having lunch outside in the sun at Whole Foods in Vancouver.  We’d had a busy day and I was tired, but no more than usual.  I noticed an older woman watching us but thought nothing of it.

As we were getting ready to leave, the woman came up to me and asked, in heavily accented English, if I was the kids’ mother.

Me: “Yes?” (Obviously she’s going to tell me how delightful they are, right?)

Her: “Oh! But you are so old! I thought you were their grandmother.”

Me: “…” (Um, what the hell do you say to that?!”)

Her: “And why they are so close in age? One year each?  Why you are in such a hurry?(Jesus, lady.  You just said I was their granny and now I have kids too quickly? Make up your damn mind.)

Me: “They are 2 years apart.” (As if it’s any of your business and why am I compelled to continue this conversation?)

Her: “It is clear you don’t eat well and don’t drink enough water, you have so many wrinkles.”

She then patted me on the shoulder and mumbled “Sorry” as I stood there, completely dumbfounded.

Who says that?! 

The kids were looking at me intently and asked “why did that lady say those weird things, Mum?”

I replied that I didn’t know, that I didn’t think it was very nice and that she had hurt my feelings.

Rory looked at me and said “Mum, I think she needs to go to the eye doctor.”

And just like that, he saved the day.

 

Family, Kids, QOTD

QOTD

Rory, from the backseat of the car today:

“Mum… when you get married, does that means that’s the only time you can share germs and you won’t get sick?”

Uh, sure. I got nothin’ for that one.

Anja, walking home from daycare:

“Mama, I’m pretty happy that I’m alive.”

She’s good with the obvious, that one.