I am not a writer. I dabble in parenting, sport and making fun of myself. I'm good at coffee. I love where I live and the things I get to do.
“He just did not have enough mustard to make that transition. Any hot dog eater could easily have seen that”
–CBC commentator on Men’s Slopestyle.
Superb. The Olympics and a culinary show, all wrapped up in one!
Thanks to Glavas for catching that one. I’m going to have to become nocturnal to do this right!
I love the Olympics. Always have and likely always will. Forget my weekend social media hiatus, I’ll no doubt be online all weekend taking it all in. Every 2 years, I don’t care if it’s the Summer or Winter Games, I’m all in. I become a fan of curling and watch track and field like it’s my job.
The North American coverage of Sochi (or, as some may refer to it, @sochiproblems) has an air of schadenfreude to it. It’s like we’re holding our collective breath and hoping for failure. But if I recall correctly, Vancouver 2010 had a heavy dose of the same scepticism in 2010 before the world got all dazzled.
I won’t deny that there are numerous problems in Russia. I have good friends on the ground over there who will attest to it. I also have friends telling me that they’ve met some wonderful people and that their experience couldn’t be better, so far.
I’m not going to comment on something I don’t have first hand knowledge of. But you know what I can comment on? The commentary. Because really, I’ll be hearing lots of it with all my planned TV watching.
A fine sampling:
“If he’s going to go for first as he has in the past, he’s going to have to rely on his skating”.
-Kurt Browning, commenting on Patrick Chan’s short program skate.
Wow. I was hoping the brownies he’s baked for the judges would push him over the top.
Let the Games begin!
Almost every night, about 30 minutes after I naively believe everyone is asleep in this house, I hear footsteps wander down the hall, tip-toe down the stairs and slink into the living room.
Oh, hey Will. Shouldn’t you be asleep?
“I feel… weird”.
“I feel like… half my brain wants me to sleep but the other half of my brain doesn’t.”
“Why did someone invent school?”
“What do people use safes for?”
After I answer 1 or 2 or 11 questions, the stalling stutters to an end:
“Um… (long pause) But Mum… (long pause as he searches for another question)…”
“Good night Will. It’s late.”
“Ok fine. But why did someone invent a school just for boys and girls couldn’t go and I wish only girls had to go to school but I don’t understand why they had to shoot that girl just because she wanted to go to school and it’s pretty lucky she survived, don’t you think?”
Note to self: Research this question.
…
He’ll then take the most circuitous route back to his bed possible, usually involving a water stop and some neck-craning back towards the living room to see what he could possibly be missing.
Does every 7 year old do this, or just mine?
Anja had a friend over to play today. Her friend was wearing her Terry Fox ribbon.
Anja: “Did you know? About the story of Terry Fox? He ran all the way across Candada (not a typo), all the way to the North. Then he broke his leg and died.”
Close.
I then explained the real story to her, but she made sure I started it with “Once upon a time, there was a boy with one leg…”
Rory (5), asking about his sister.
“Do we have to pick Talky Talkerson up from daycare today or can we just leave her there overnight?”
That’s love, right there.
After school today.
Will: “Rory! Wanna play this awesome game? It’s called Pocket Checking. It’s this cool game where you go in closets and dig around in all the raincoat pockets and find really cool things. It’s like digging for gold. Rory, you never know. Hey look! Dad’s pocket. Oooh! Cool. ”
Rory: “Oh! Dad’s hoody. Dad always keeps cool stuff in his pockets. Oh look! A hair clip. Keep looking.”
I didn’t bother to go down to check what the “Oooh! Cool” led to.
Walking home from the beach:
Me: “Come on, my love. This way.”
Anja: “Why do you call me my love?”
Me: “Well, because I love you more than anything in the world.”
Anja: “Even more than eating dinner?!”
Quite a few gems coming forth from this face lately. Here’s a few samples.
Scene: in the shower, losing her marbles because she thinks she’s meant to go straight to bed afterwards, thereby missing family TV night.
“Waaaaaaaaah! But I, I, I, wannna watch D-D-Deadliest Catch!” (you can send our parenting awards via the mail, we’ll accept all deliveries).
I half-laugh at her and ask if she even knows what she’s talking about. “Yeah, it’s about boys who go fishing for crabs and fishes. But no girls”. In the end, she settled for watching The Canada Awesome Race.
—
Buried in the sand up to her neck at the beach:
“MAKE ME SOME SAND BOOBIES!”
—
Packing her lunch for school: “Don’t give me the green bananas, they’re not stripe yet”.
—
And I learned last night that she’s very afraid of thumberstorms. Frankly, who isn’t?
Will, 7, in a discussion about marriage with Rory, 4.
“You have an easier life when you get married because you have more food.”
Unique perspective…
Scene: after dinner, leaving Mile 1, back steps of the restaurant. Anja, 3, wearing white and black zebra print top with pink ruffled sequinned skirt is hauling her runner bike up the steps.
Me: “What are you doing?”
Anja: “I’m gonna ride down the stairs.”
Me (looking at the 4 concrete stairs): “Um, no.”
Anja: “BUT I DID IT BEFORE A LONG TIME AGO!”
Me: “Right. Whatever. Wait till Dad gets home so you can try then.”
Anja: “Ok. That way I’ll do it and Dad will spot me.”
dad will spot me, said the 3 year old. Only in this world.
The SMO's stories 