Walking the dogs after dinner.
Anja: “I feel sick”.
Rory: “I feel a bit tired”.
Will: “I feel… perfect”.
And there you have it, in a nutshell.
Category: Family
Wherein I ramble.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, mainly because I’ve been mopey. Nobody wants to hang around mopey, much less read about mopey. So I’m trying to move past mopey into more hopeful. Mopeful, maybe?
My body is nowhere near 100% fixed, as much as I like to pretend it is. Watching the winter pass me by has been very frustrating – particularly not being able to ski. I miss skiing and feel like I am missing out on a lot with the kidlets.
I’ve tried a few days of skate skiing without poles which was ok, but otherwise my workouts have been limited to the gym, pool running (ugh) and the wind trainer… endless hours on the wind trainer. Actually, I’m pretty proud of myself for the workouts I’ve developed: they are based solely on TV characters. When character A comes on, I spin 100 rpm. When his enemy comes on, I spin 80 rpm, etc. etc. It actually makes time fly. As much as time can fly on a wind trainer at 5:30am. Maybe I’ll trademark these workouts and become an infomercial superstar! (Wait… do infomercials still exist?)
I celebrated 1 month post-op with a 1km run on the treadmill in the garage – which I then had taken away from me by a well-meaning physio who told me to back off again. I may or may not had shed tears of frustration. Not having the ability to run daily has had a huge effect on my ability to manage my anxiety, so for both my physical and mental health I’m hoping to get back at it sooner rather than later.
Baby steps, I suppose. In the meantime, while I build my body back up, I’ll continue to lurk on race websites, read blogs, try to pick up a hobby, follow people’s twitter updates and will the snow to melt and my body to heal so I can once again get out and play.
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Know thyself
A few weeks ago, I was headed to the city to run some errands and let the boys know I’d be picking them up some tees and hoodies as they’d outgrown/destroyed the ones they had. Rory piped up that he “wanted a pink t-shirt with a skateboarder on it, but if they don’t have that, I’ll just get whatever”.
Will looked at me and said “I don’t want to be a dude”. I was a little confused by this comment and replied “but you’re a boy, therefore you are a dude.” He elaborated: “No, no. I don’t want to be a dude, like who skateboards and wears pink shirts and stuff. I like Lego and books and calmer stuff. I just want a plain blue t-shirt”.
It’s interesting to me that at 6 years old, he’s pretty self-aware. And so very, very different from his brother.
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Meanwhile…
I bought Anja a new coat as she’d outgrown her current one (belly coats, anyone?) She came downstairs, saw it and said “OH MINE GOODNESS! It’s Beee-ooootiful”!
I like an appreciative kid.
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Completely unrelated to anything
I was at one of my recent 298374 doctors appointments waiting for the doc when I saw this: 
I must have been having a bad day because it infuriated me. I’m no feminist, but COME ON. Set your daughter up with some slightly higher standards than “Diva”. I hate that moniker applied to little girls – never mind newborns. How about “Astronaut in Training” or “Athlete in Training” or “Average, healthy kid in training”? Anything is better than Diva.
*steps off soap box*
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Don’t ask.
I gave up chocolate for Lent. I’m not religious, nor have I ever given anything up for Lent. I wonder what possessed me this year. So far so good. But The Chocolate Easter Bunny better watch his back March 31. And his ears. And tail.
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Yesterday
It was the first warm and sunny day we’d had in a long time. I spent a lot of it thinking about Mum. She used to love early Spring days and would bundle up into her coats and blankets, drag an old chair to a sunny spot somewhere outside and read her book till the sun became shade. I think that early spring days will always remind me of Mum and some of her ingrained habits. I can’t believe that it’s already been 6 months without her.
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I’m back at work! Bring on the sitting, office snacks and the fluorescent lighting. And hopefully more positive blog updates.
Tales from the road
Alternate blog titles:
-WTF was I thinking;
-wow, this is further than I thought;
-“hey, it’s only 36 more miles to Mexico!”
Well, we made it.
Road trip chronicles: day 1
I set the bar pretty low in terms of successful touch points for day 1: no puking, minimal crying, no getting lost and not eating every single snack I pack. Day 1 = success!
Liz sent the following recommendations:
Driver picks music: moot point as the raining was pounding down so hard at we couldn’t hear it anyway.
Don’t eat at chain restaurants: does eating at White Spot before we left Vancouver count?
Pit stops/pee breaks by majority: no. I force peeing on everyone except Will, who enjoys peeing once a day on I-5 in rush hour traffic.
Do something that bores the kids: wait till I bust out the adult audiobooks.
We made it to Eugene, crashed out.
Day 2:
More rain. Goal: California, maybe as far south as San Francisco. Reality: get stuck in a decent snowstorm near Ashland, OR and end up stranded in Yreka, CA due to the fact that California highway patrol closed the freeway. Follow ST’s rules and eat at the Purple Plum. Terrible. But! Our hotel has a 10ft square pool, so woo! Holiday!
Day 3:
Hey, wow – rain! More dangerous drivers in moderate snow but we make it almost to San Luis Obispo before the truck breaks down in a gas station parking lot… Long story boiled down: gas up, car won’t start, call a tow truck, get towed to a GMC dealership, Jay fiddles with fuses and voila! Car starts. 2h45 we won’t ever get back. We load back up and mission to Ventura.
Day 4. San Diego and thank god for that.
More to come, provided we don’t kill each other. 2 days till Noel…
Oh – to my friends who called me out for popping up on social media when I said I was. Taking a break: thank you. I’m sticking to it now. I’ll post this but I’m not checking up in anyone!
Update: dec 24th. Rain!
Packing up and logging off…
Tonight, we head to Vancouver to begin our Christmas road trip. We’ll have an early Christmas dinner with the family and in the morning we’ll load up the kids and our gear and start heading south… I’m equally excited and nervous about what this experience will bring. I’m looking forward to seeing new places, being with the family without too many domestic distractions and seeing the sun. I’m nervous about being in the car for so long and I hope that we haven’t built it up too much in the kid’s minds. Time will tell, I suppose. The goal is to make it to San Diego by Christmas and then meander our way home in time for school in January. I plan to take lots of pictures and write updates on our journey, so stay tuned. That is, if I’m not in some kind of road coma.
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The self-imposed cooking challenge is now officially over. While I wouldn’t rate it as a complete failure, it wasn’t a complete success, either. I did manage to stick to my plan of 2 new recipes a week, and I think that I’ll continue to do that when we come back from this trip. However, I failed to fall in love with cooking. I think it’s time to face reality: cooking and I will maintain a healthy respect for one another, but there ain’t gonna be wedding bells anytime soon.
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What will 2013 bring, I wonder? I’m not one to make resolutions but I’ll admit that I want to set some new goals and challenges for myself in the coming year. I’ve already committed to 2 races and I am pondering what else I can challenge myself with to fill the calendar. I think it should be the “Year of Yes”: time to try new things and say “yes” to whatever comes my way. And I’ll admit that I am not at all sad to see the backside of 2012.
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I’m planning on ending 2012 by taking a break for news, social media and digital distractions in general. On this trip, it’s time to re-connect with my family, rest and re-charge. I’ll bring a notebook with me and actually use a pen. Time to shut off the noise for a while. Digital detox!
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I’ll leave you with some recent pics. See you in the new year.
In which I blab on about a variety of topics.
I spent the weekend in Vancouver with the kids, the plan being to take in the Stanley Park Christmas train, city lights and the Santa Claus Parade. Then, this happened:
Being sick when you are little sucks. It’s hard to communicate what you feel and you can’t help much beyond back rubs and cuddles. And midnight/2am/4am Tylenol and kleenex doses. Thankfully, they both seem to be on the mend.
Rory and Will rallied for the parade, Anja fell asleep…
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QOTD:
(scene: Rory is having a hissy fit because we’d planned an adult evening without him).
Me, to Will: “What’s going on?”
Will: “Oh, Rory’s losing his marbles because you’re leaving”.
Me: “Hmm, well – are you ok with it?”
Will: “Me? Oh yeah. You should go, you guys totally need a break”.
(scene: Rory, on the couch, legs in the air)
“I feel a celebration coming on!”
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Knee surgery looms in January. In the meantime, I’ve been running and kind of biking (and by kind of, I mean hanging on for dear life on the rollers while staring at a dot on the floor so as not to lose focus). I’ve also been trolling the internet and planning 2 types of race schedules.
1) The one I’d do if I were single, rich and responsibility-free (read: Phuket, South Africa, New Orleans, Texas, Mexico, Hawaii… just to name a few destinations).
2) Reality. I’ll be coming off of surgery, have 3 kids to focus on, don’t have that much race mojo anyway. Any suggestions? Oh, I’ve been talked into the Test of Metal after a 9 year hiatus.
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The cooking project continues and I’ve been diligent about trying new recipes. In the process, I’ve learned a few things. First, don’t try to fool the kids with things like “These quinoa burgers are just like real burgers”! They’re kids, not idiots. Truth helps.Next, I’m much more of a 1 dish kind of gal. If I have to cook a main and 2 side dishes to all be ready at once, something is bound to be over-done, under-done, too hot, too mushy, etc. Plus HEY LOOK SOMETHING SHINY! I’m too easily distracted and there are always 3 little people talking to me at the same time between 5-6pm. Finally, I keep waiting for that love of cooking to spark. But I’m thinking this is one blind date that’s going nowhere…fast.
On the bright side, I made myself laugh the other day when Will came barreling into the kitchen demanding to know what was for dinner. I answered “Windowsills. Now get out of my kitchen”. Verbatim what my Mum used to say to me…
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If, like me, you harbour romantic notions of living in Canada’s north, do check out Tandi’s blog. A healthy and funny dose of reality!
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It’s here… another ski season. Day 1 for me started with these two and it was both painful and awesome. Anja delights in folding in half and laughing when she hits the ground. Rory seeks jumps like it’s his job. The two of them collided more than once and I ended the day with sore legs (snowplowing is evil) and a full body sweat. Here’s to more days on the hill and less days of plucking them off the ground!
- Have you ever seen anything cuter? No, you have not.
- —
- Wedding weekend coming up!
Road tripping, Ho Ho Ho.
A few months ago and for a variety of reasons, I decided that I did not want to spend Christmas at home this year. Last year, I missed the buildup to the holidays due to the fact that I was in the Middle East. To my surprise, I didn’t miss it; the hype, the commercials, the spending at all (I did, however, miss the egg nog lattes).
If I ruled my own universe, no one would be allowed to start decorating, singing, tinselling or egg-nog latte-ing until December 15th. Ahem, moving on.
This year, we’re planning on loading up the Suburban and heading south to San Diego. We haven’t done much planning for this adventure, other than to promise the kids we’d hit Legoland as our Christmas excursion. That’s it. As for the rest of it, we’ll play it by ear. This is either going to be a great idea or a foolhardy mission.
It’s roughly 2250 km from Vancouver to San Diego. We’ll bring camping gear because I’m optimistic enough (naive?!) to think we may be able to camp for a few nights in California. It’s always warm and sunny there, right?
The kids are psyched. I’m… working up to it.
Anyone got any great road trip ideas to keep kids happy? Must-see places on the way south?
Progress report
Yeah, you’re all dying to know. Did I or didn’t I bail on the week 1 cooking challenge do-over?
I attempted a few new recipes and re-jigged a few kid favourites (to their ABSOLUTE HORROR.) Among other things, I “invented” a veggie stir-fry that I really liked, the kids thought it was essentially poison. Have you ever watched a 4-year old pick grains of rice out of a plate one-by-one? Entertainment at its finest. Chocolate pudding? WINNING. I didn’t tell them it was made with avocado.
I’ll continue on with my personal quest this week and see what I manage. True confession, though: it’s a lot easier to learn to like wine than it is to like cooking…
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What is it with this time of year that ignites my inner consumer? I’d been doing a pretty good job of purging and keeping my desire to acquire things in check, but lately every time I turn around I see something that I have. To. Have. It’s ridiculous.
I think I need to initiate some kind of reward/earning system for myself to justify some of this desire… (that being said, I can pretty much talk myself out of anything, so maybe that’s what I need to be working on). That elephant ring on Etsy? Must cook 15 original meals. That new cycling kit? Must… um… earn it somehow?
Is this something you do? Tell me more, if so. How do you justify your treats?
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Rory, trying the guacamole I made: “I don’t really like it but I kind of love it”.
Will: “Sometimes, when you slow down, things come to you rather than having to chase them”.
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CITS is kind of in hiatus these days… it’s just me and my bike. I can’t run comfortably so I’m trying to get re-acquainted with my mountain bike. I wonder why I like riding more in the cold and wet than in the warm sun? Weird.
On accomplishments, grief and a confession
Standing on the beach in Kona, it was such a tremendous feeling to watch Will accomplish something he was initially so nervous to try. He’s never been the bravest kid around water and it took him a few days to get comfortable but he worked up the guts to try boogie boarding on our second or third day there. I know he’d been thinking about it for quite some time and it took Rory trying it first to give it a go.
Watching your kid succeed at something that scares them it so amazing. I highly recommend it to those of you who are contemplating kids – ha. I felt like jumping up and down (I suspect I did) and telling all the grandparents on the beach to check out my kid. I was certain they’d never seen a kid in Hawaii do it quite like mine had!
Granted, he got smashed by a wave a little while later and that turned him off of it for a while, but he went back in. I’ll be the first to admit that I stood by watching like a mama lion trying not to go in and snatch him up. Still, I was filled with pride.
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Grief hits me at the weirdest time. It’s like being on a roller coaster with my eyes closed: it’s up and down and I can’t see what’s coming around the corner, or even when we’ll go around that corner. I’ll be fine one minute and the next, I’m knocked down by overwhelming sorrow. Will caught his first wave and my first thought was, inevitably, that I wanted to tell my mum because I know she’d want to hear details and see pictures. And for that split second, I reach for the phone before I remember that I can’t do that anymore. It makes me sad, sometimes more than others but eventually the feeling dissipates and I move on.
I am beginning to think that perhaps I’ll always feel this way. For eight years, my days and weeks were often dictated by how my mum was feeling. Almost daily we’d touch base and when I didn’t hear from her, I’d get anxious that something wasn’t right. I’d always breathe a sigh of relief when I’d get an email in the morning; even if she wasn’t feeling well, I knew she was thinking of us. I still feel like a part of my day is missing because I don’t do that daily check-in.
As much as I enjoyed this family holiday, it was also very difficult for me because it was the first time I couldn’t share the milestones with her and it made me miss her all the more and that feeling of grief and sadness became a little more raw again.
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I must confess: my personal cooking challenge has been a total failure. I clearly wasn’t thinking straight when I thought I’d start this outside of the comfort of my own home and my under-6 test group.
In Kona, it was too easy to let other (much better) cooks take over and I wasn’t brave enough (or perhaps I was being lazy) to give it a go.
SO! It kicks off tomorrow as it’s time to get re-acquainted with vegetables, un-acquainted with wine and chips and to toss out the Hallowe’en candy. Round 2 begins before round 1 even got started…
Wish me luck and send me recipes.
I’ve got a few other challenges up my sleeve to keep me motivated through the dreary fall… so stay tuned.
Musings
I’m happy Hallowe’en is OVER for another year. I suppose I don’t hate it as much as I used to now that we have kids, but it’s still one of my least favourite “holidays” of the year. I didn’t like it as a kid; I disliked the pressure of finding “the perfect” costume, and since I grew up on a farm with a Dutch mom, trick or treating was rare, so I never cared about it that much. I particularly hate that most costumes for girls/women have been taken to soaring heights of slutiness. That’s just annoying. Anja will henceforth be an old fashioned ghost, white sheet and all, until she’s 21.
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CITS is creeping along through the fall and early signs of winter. However, CITS #8 and #9 have been run with a boy. That being said, he can hold up his end of the conversation and walks when I ask/tell him to, so we shall continue until it has to turn into Chicks in the Snow… which means ski days.
I’m trying to decide what, if any, races to do next. I’ve damaged my knee so it either needs to be soon – before the doctors kibosh more running, or post-op. Suggestions welcome.
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Our home office is close to the kids playroom and it’s actually kind of nice to be in here working while they play together (we have a door we can close when we don’t have to break up fights). The best part is eavesdropping on their conversations. It’s quite something listening to a 6 year old explain to a 4 year what “outnumbered” means. Or listening to a 4 year teach the 2 year old how to count to 20 (who needs 12 and 14, anyway?)
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It’s November 1… which means no more perusing cooking sites with guilt-free pleasure. My cooking challenge starts today. What was I thinking?? We head to Kona tomorrow as a family which is great but we’re joining friends who happen to be great cooks. Some would see this as an opportunity to learn. I see it as pressure!
That being said, please send me some of your go-to recipes so that I don’t have to spend my days on Pinterest! Maybe I should have started small, as in one new smoothie recipe a week – I can handle that!
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QOTD
Will to Rory, late one night. “It’s in my dreams to have you come to school with me”.
Rory: “I’m so glad the world isn’t made of black pepper otherwise my whole body would be so itchy”.
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Kona-bound tomorrow. 3 kids. 6am flight. I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me… but think of me with fondness as you roll over in bed at 7. Oddly, one of the things I am most looking forward to about this trip is being in the US for the election. I’m curious to watch the coverage without the Canadian twist.
Hard to believe that when we come home it’ll be one week till opening day at WB!
Aloha!
Rubble Creek and random thoughts
Rubble Creek Classic
Last week, Jen and I, accompanied by 30 friends/strangers ran the Rubble Creek Classic . Chicks in the Sticks go racing! We’ve been wanting to do this run for years and we finally committed; or rather, I signed Jen and I up whether she liked it or not. Neither of us have gotten in much quality training of late but the day was spectacular and well worth the effort of getting up early and running 24K.
About 8 km of climbing, a random number of kms of flats around the base of Black Tusk and then 10 painful kms of down, down, down… I felt that run for days.
It was mostly worth it because I had the most spectacular nap that afternoon.
Fact
“If you want something done, give it to the busiest person you know”. Truer words were never spoken – to me, anyway. I’ve been “retired” for about 3 weeks now and I am struggling to relax and feeling the need to fill my days with tasks and projects. I’m afraid that if I slow down, I’ll never get going again.
Fall
It’s Fall now, pretty much officially. Shorter days, cold mountain mornings. I love the leaves, the light, the change. I don’t love having to layer the kids in clothing. I’m counting the days till the can dress themselves intelligently to head into the cold outdoors.
Early runs now start in the dark… harder to pry oneself out of bed, that’s for sure. This morning’s CITS run was the 2nd Annual-Earn-That-Turkey-Dinner-run through the Mosquito Lake trails. The sunrise made it special, as did the fact that we were done by 8:45am.
Thankful
There is much to be thankful for this year. Despite the loss of my mother a few weeks ago, I am thankful for being surrounded by such good friends, ridiculous children, a close-knit family and some pretty nice physical surroundings. Frankly, there isn’t much I can complain about.
Ed: is it thankful FOR or thankful that I? See? Told you I wasn’t a writer.
QOTD
Anja and I fly to Quebec tomorrow to prepare for Mum’s celebration of life. She is very excited about prospect of “fwying on da aiyapwane”. Little does she know that flying is basically like sitting in a car for 5 hours, but with a bathroom. I can’t bring myself to burst her bubble. I have, however, drilled the notion of sky martials into their towheads. Scream and the “sky martian” is allowed to open the door at the back of the plane and “fwow you out!”
Parenting 101. Fear and mild skepticism.
The SMO's stories 